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he's only starving.... by ~natdaddy:iconnatdaddy:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Philosophical > Fixed


Yesterday I had breakfast with my inner child,
and the little bastard stuck me with the bill.
He told me that everyday is different, and if I was smart,
I would never get my fill.
But I rolled my eyes with indifference,
because my heart was cold and still.
Adults, it’s seems, are different.
See we only believe in skill.

So dinner was cold when I got home.
It always is that way.
I toil in my trouble,
and I think its best that way.
For I’m older and not younger.
Tomorrow is just today.
My inner child hungers,
I think I can starve him out someday.

For hope hurts the older you get.
©2004-2009 ~natdaddy
:iconnatdaddy:

Author's Comments

...because i wont feed him."

i feel like as i grow older i am different from my peers for many reasons. one of the greatist is that i have not lost that hope in life. that it can be better, and more beautiful then it was yesterday. it sometimes hurts to have that outlook but it makes me feel better to fight for it. for i feel that when i stop fighting for it, i will just grow old, cold, and die.

Comments


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:icong33k-ch1k:
~g33k-ch1k Oct 17, 2004, 11:03:53 AM
:)

I really really like this.

I would get rid of the last line because it seems out of place to me but overall this is a very nice poem, it has great rhythm and a cute message, the opening is cracking!

--
You may see a silly fop & a worshipful justice, a griping rook & a grave citizen, a worthy lawyer & an errant pickpocket, a reverend non-conformist & a canting mountebank, all blended together to compose a medley of impertinence -- at the *Coffeehouse
:iconareincarnation:
!areincarnation Oct 17, 2004, 11:36:32 AM
you're poetry's also getting more insightful.. :)

--
many cry for the dolphin, trapped in fishing nets.

but who cries for the tuna?
:iconpoeticwar:
`PoeticWar Oct 17, 2004, 12:21:33 PM
"because my heart was cold and still."

"See we only believe in skill."

Those lines seem like fillers to me to satisfy the rhyme scheme. To be honest I'd almost prefer this not to rhyme at all, so it seems more inner-monologue-like, if you know what I mean.

Apart from that, this is a fantastic poem. Really well done. :)

--
mimesis, the poetry journal

Buy Mimesis issue one here.
Buy Mimesis issue two here.
:iconnatdaddy:
~natdaddy Oct 17, 2004, 2:46:10 PM
see i think those lines are more about the attitude or message of the poem, but then they could be filler. i have a hard time not rhyming so you could be right. i have something to chew on now.

--
confusion is the door way to thought.
:iconnatdaddy:
~natdaddy Oct 17, 2004, 2:47:03 PM
thanks man. that really means alot to me.

peace and love

--
confusion is the door way to thought.
:iconnatdaddy:
~natdaddy Oct 17, 2004, 2:50:49 PM
most of my stuff starts with the first line or two. i start from there and just flow out. the last line is there to be out of place. its something i'm into right now. kind of a rap up, or last stab. its also a way to step out of the poem at then end and comment on it. just try it, its really fun. ;)

--
confusion is the door way to thought.
:icontalyl:
~Talyl Oct 24, 2004, 12:48:36 AM
I too would like to see this not rhyme, but it works in its own way as it is. I love the idea. I just thought this was so original! I especially loved the first few lines. Persoanlly I don't think you need the last line though. It doesn't seem to fit. Overall though I REALLY liked this! :D

--
I've gone out to find myself. If you find me before I do, keep me here until I get back. :cuddle:
:iconnatdaddy:
~natdaddy Oct 24, 2004, 5:48:19 AM
much thanks. i'm starting to slowly push away from rhyming all the time, but its hard. i have been rhyming for about......ten years now. the last line is just that. its a wrap up. i wanted to spell out the meaning for everyone.........including myself. thank you very much for the comment and for reading it.

peace and love

--
confusion is the door way to thought.
:iconleonberger:
~leonberger Oct 24, 2004, 6:33:09 AM
"My inner child hungers,
I think I can starve him out someday" that appealed to me. I like that very much. Hard to explain, but I found it kinda.. like if you hold back your childlike innnocence for a long time, it'll come soon er or later
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